Today I found a recently hatched crow lying on the step of my pool, far from any trees or possible nest locations. I called the wildlife rehabilitation center and they told me to pick it up and place it in a warm towel in a box. I made the bird a nest, made sure it was warm, and immediately ran out to buy it food. I bought the food, rushed home, prepared the formula, and then the worst thing ever happened. My little baby shut its eyes and would not open its beak anymore, I didn’t know what was going on. I thought perhaps it was sleeping, so I opened its beak and blew gently trying to get it to wake up. I tried putting tiny bits of the food in its mouth but nothing would wake it. It was so terrible, I honestly thought I could help it. After about an hour of trying and calling everyone I thought could help, I decided to bury it. I buried it under my favorite plant, a dragon fruit tree, which is still a baby. I feel utterly disappointed in myself, sick, and worried that perhaps if I had taken sixty seconds less choosing food that I would have been able to save it. All I want to do right now is sleep, yet years of insomnia have showed me that it’s quite impossible for me to do that. Sigh. The rest of my day was quite eventful though, and beautiful, but the bird takes up a huge part of my heart today. I decided to go out and buy a purple basil plant afterwards, which by now I planted, but just realized that tomorrow morning if the landscaping people come they will kill it because I planted it outside of the stone that marks my garden area. I hope I can wake up early enough to place it in a pot, and I hope if I do that it won’t be shocked from switching areas. I don’t know why I can’t take care of things, how am I ever going to be a father?

1 year ago | This post has 59 notes